Would you agree that anger is one of the hardest emotions for Christians to deal with. We often do not even acknowledge that we experience anger because we are not supposed to have it in the first place. We know it is wrong, but it is so hard to control.
There has to be a better way than anger, and today, I am going to share a message that suggests there is.
Everyone has their Pet Peeve and one of mine is Telemarketers.
They are very resolute and resilient sales professionals. Their job is to get on the phone, make cold calls, and try and sell a product, or a service. I get all of that.
And I know they are trained to not give up easily. If you do not answer the phone, they will just call you again. If they encounter your answering machine, they usually hang up, but you can be assured they will call again. They are tenacious.
Even if you are registered with the “do not call” service, chances are that you still receive some calls.
I have received messages 3 or 4 times a week for the past few months that it will be my last chance for a lower rate on my credit card, or I need to refinance my mortgage, or I need a warranty for repairs to my pickup.
Well, telemarketers really irritate me. So, what gets to you? Is it road rage? Discourteous drivers in general? Or, how about certain relatives who insist on being the center of attention.
Or, perhaps you have a habit of always being on time … and you wish others would be as courteous.
The end result is that you often feel you have a right to be Angry … so you become angry.
Yet … what exactly are you going to do with that anger?
Will you stay angry until the responsible party acknowledges their guilt? In that case, you could be waiting a long time.
Will you stay angry until you feel you have sufficiently … quote “paid them back”?
Well, who got paid back? Will you get even by sharing their actions … whatever made you angry … with others via Facebook or Twitter?
But if you do that, it only leads to hearsay and gossip, which can form a pattern of habitual sin. If that is the case, congratulations, you have just enlarged your problem.
Or, will you explode at whoever is making you angry because you cannot take the seeming injustice any longer.
Well, I think you will all agree that at this point, anger never solves anything. Anger is such a subtle and devastating emotion.
It is often veiled behind other emotions because we might be afraid to acknowledge our anger.
Perhaps, you have even been told, “It is wrong to get angry.”
Maybe you feel justified with your anger, but do not know what to do with it.
Regardless of the reason, what we often conclude is that we will not under any circumstances confront the person who made us angry … good heavens, no.
It seems we would rather stay angry than do that. It is almost as if we would rather stay angry than possibly reconcile the hurt.
It is also interesting to note that most people when they are full of anger become very passive. Perhaps, they think that it is Safer … somehow.
We still might get even, but in more acceptable ways than throwing a chair, or shouting at the top of our voice.
We may procrastinate, show up late, lower our performance, criticize, or use other indirect methods of getting even, or garnering revenge.
At home, some feel freer about exploding. They may treat those they say they love with less respect, then they would treat a stranger.
But at church, or in the workplace or at school, it seems we are more devious, or indirect, because we all know that anger is not a Christian value.
I believe that anger is one of the hardest emotions for Christians to deal with because of the confusion surrounding it. We often do not acknowledge our anger, because we feel we are not supposed to ever get angry in the first place.
So, we may call it something else. We may deceive ourselves, and in the process, tear apart the body of Christ with unloving responses or unloving actions.
There must be a better way, and I believe God’s Word can help us with that this morning. For example, the apostle Paul gives us some steps for dealing with anger when he wrote, “Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil.” Ephesians 4:26-27
BE ANGRY … BUT DO NOT SIN. Sounds like a great strategy, but how do we do that?
According to one study, “The average person feels some degree of anger, or frustration, 10-14 times a day,” which is all the more reason to identify it, accept it, and address it.
Did you realize that the Bible teaches that God gets angry/
Think about that for a moment – don’t you think it makes sense?
How do you think God feels when His love is rejected, or when His holiness is mocked? In those cases, God cannot remain indifferent … to do so would make Him impersonal, not compassionate.
So, can we conclude that the ability to be angry is a God-given emotion?
Here are a couple of examples … Florence Nightingale was known for her anger against inadequate hospital care.
The anger of African Americans riding in the back of the bus led to much needed civil rights changes.
Today, parents need to raise their children in an environment in which they are free to express anger but only in APPROPRIATE ways WITHOUT sinning. But, boy, is that hard!
I think people who grew up with the admonition “Don’t be angry”, truly did not obey it; they just hid it.
I read a report last week that said, “Repressed anger is the number one source of depression.”
So, based on these thoughts, I think we need to keep in mind Paul’s words from Ephesians that we read a few moments ago: you can be angry, but you cannot sin.
Jesus got angry, so obviously it is possible to be angry without sinning. So, the problem, in a nutshell, is that it often leads to sin.
Anger is an emotion, a response to a threat … perhaps a threat to our life, our character, our opinion, our property, or our pride.
And it is what we do AFTER that emotional response of anger, that determines whether we sin or not.
God once warned an angry Cain in Genesis 4 to get a hold of himself because sin was crouching at his door.
The Scriptures remind us that God is slow to anger. Not so with most of us. An unkind word seems to set some of us off in a flash. It has been said, “If you do not talk it out, you will turn it loose” … meaning your anger.
And we know that anger turned loose leads to aggression; while anger kept within leads to depression. Perhaps you have seen the bumper sticker “Don’t get angry, get even.”
If people really buy into that idea, aren’t they saying in a sense … that revenge is more socially acceptable in our culture than anger?
Yet, the Apostle Paul warned us, “Do Not Let the Sun Go Down on Your Anger.”
In other words, deal with it, address it, and do it quickly. Jesus also said in our Gospel lesson, “Settle matters quickly with your adversary …” Matthew 5:25
Neglected anger leads to bitterness, and bitterness quite simply is sin.
Bitterness is anger gone to seed in one’s heart.
Bitterness eats away within us like a cancer, affecting both the body and the spirit. A doctor of psychology once wrote this about anger and hate…
“The moment I start hating a man, I become his slave. I can’t enjoy my work anymore because he even controls my thoughts. The man I hate hounds me wherever I go.
My teeth chew the food and I swallow it, but the man I hate will not permit me to enjoy it. The man I hate whips my thoughts into such a frenzy that my innerspring mattress becomes a rack of torture.” (Pause)
Have you been there? Or, in a similar place?
If you have, Paul cautions you with these words, “Do Not Make Room for the Devil.”
What he means is that destructive emotions need to be dealt with, even though we understand the fact that dealing with them can be painful. It is like the removal of a tumor from the body … it is both essential and painful.
Anger not properly dealt with will also lead to hostility. And hostility is an ongoing attitude that endangers those who hold it, as well as those who receive the brunt of its force.
Bitterness and anger left unchecked is a completely destructive fire that burns within us.
When we say, “That really burns me up,” we are closer to the truth than we may realize.
Scripture warns us not to let the sun go down on our anger, so we need to deal with it, and resolve it before it turns into a seed of bitterness.
Anger in a way can be compared to manna. I know that sounds like a really strange comparison but look at it this way.
God told the Hebrews to collect only enough manna for each day because what was left overnight turned sour. Likewise, unattended anger left overnight turns sour, it turns rotten, and it becomes the devil’s opportunity to poison us even more.
For example, an unchecked anger blocks our ability to communicate effectively with God.
That is why James said this…
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. ” James 1:19-20.
Anger is a response. And we need to always deal with our anger and bring it to God for His healing. Paul also gives us this guidance in Ephesians…
“Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice” Ephesians 4:31.
So, from this day on … ACKNOWLEDGE your anger, acknowledge where you hide it in your heart. And confess to God where your anger has turned to sin.
And then, forgive those who have hurt you … for God wants us to be free from all anger and resentment.
And lastly, here is a final thought that could help us remember these things …we need to learn to STOP, LOOK and LISTEN.
And here is what I mean by that … we need to learn to stop … stop before we SAY something we know we will regret later. We also need to learn to look … look to see WHY we are angry … look to see what made us angry.
And then finally, we need to learn to listen … listen for an APPROPRIATE RESPONSE. Listen for guidance and counsel from God’s Word that will help us.
We need to BE mature people of the cross, and NOT ever give Satan opportunities to influence us.
If we remember to STOP, LOOK and LISTEN, we will NOT let anger burn within us, and especially not let the sun go down on any anger we do have. Bottom line? It’s okay to be angry, but be careful not to sin. Amen!